Mentally Screwed Up

I took off for a week.
Left for Chandi on Friday, to return on Mon... came back on next sat.
Very conveneintly fell ill on monday.
Was completely shitting in my pants when I walked in on Mon morning. Had a pained expression on my face at 9.30am, simply because I was apprehensive of the reactions of Big B.
Luckily for me... she was on leave on mon! Now how lucky is that.

Our brief conversation on the phone was cold and strained.
She definitely did NOT want anything to do with me when I called at 10am trying to show my pro activenesss!!!
So I spent the day viling away my time again.
Scanned the net... read a few interesting .blogs.... did some random jazz on Orkut and just lay back and tried to relax.

Am more and more restless everyday...
What am I doing here? what the hell is research? How many questions are we going to ask? Damn these presentations.
Consequently end up questioning myself- so what do I want to do? Where do I want to go? huh???

God... gimme some direction before I drive myself nuts.